talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize