I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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