We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
