Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
