mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
