Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
