its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
