I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
