zippers are such a cool invention
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
