I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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