you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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