My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize