I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
