It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
