I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
