I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
