Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Randomize
