Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
