Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
