5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
