and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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