We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
COCAINE IS GR8
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize