rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
