Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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