dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize