if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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