i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
