i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize