Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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