I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
