I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize