Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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