Pappa wants mamma naked
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
