she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
