I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
