I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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