I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
