okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
