What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We have started to decorate penises.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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