your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
