the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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