She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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