I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize