Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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