I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
