just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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