i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
