At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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