Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am available for nakedness
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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