I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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