Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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