just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
