so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
