69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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