I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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