I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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