Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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