we have officially lost it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize