It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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