Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
