so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
